Friday April 10th, a Roofied Night

What really happened from 12am-1am that night:

9:07pm: My phone rings...i'm at dinner and have been for the past 2 hours and 7 minutes and am still waiting for my entree (side note: I haven't eaten all day and my mood is GREATLY affected by how much or little i've eaten so i am NOT happy)...it's Alex and since i am already 7 minutes late for the party she is throwing for her roommate I pick the phone up at the table and loudly chat away while the couple next to our table stares at me. Alex has called to tell me that Stanky Legg is on TV...im really glad i introduced everyone to the SL.

10:00pm: I get out of the shower and Belle texts me asking me to buzz her in...i am like HOLD UP why are u at my apartment right now i am in a towel but shes actually just arriving to Alex's party which I am now an hour and half late for...nice

10:45pm: A few (dozen) missed calls and texts from Belle and Alex and I'm finally ready to head to the party...

10:46pm: Alex informs me that they are heading to the bar...i'm bone sober, save the two glasses of prosecco at dinner, and there is no way i'm meeting up with them without at least one (very) tall vodka something....if i remember Alex's last party correctly, its pretty safe to say that she and Belle have been scarfacing meth death vodka gummy bears out of a cake batter bowl for at least an hour

12:00pm: I finally arrive (3 hours late, a new record for me) at the bar....i find Belle, grab a vodka tonic and look for Alex

12:15pm: HOLY HOT MESS..i find Alex face to face with a large and in charge black man who is either holding her up or feeling her up...possibly both. i go up to her and give her a look that clearly says 'wtfisgoingonhere'. she does a dive forward roll through this guys arms. she lands in my chest, so does her drink. I hang her from a coat rack and go to find Belle to get the pile of puddy that was once Alex in a cab. We return to find her once again being molested by large and in charge so we pull her away nd head for the bathroom. We make it into the bathroom JUST before large and in charge falls down the stairs trying to following us, smashes his drink on the floor, barrels into the boys bathroom and pukes all over the floor.

12:16pm: we are safe in the bathroom and Alex is speaking fluent Japanese, which would be impressive if she weren't trying to speak English...after a quick dip (literally) in the toilet Alex is upright and large and in charge busts into the girls bathroom...girls scream, Belle hits him with her "insert designer purse here" and we are once again safe

12:30pm: large and in charge is apparently a fan of the puke and rally and he is again up in my homegirl's sh*t....i've had enough...homeboy is a serious creeper, homegirl is seriously not able to stand on her own, its seriously time to go

12:35pm: Alex closes her tab and leaves her credit card on the bar, which i retrieve and put in her purse. Belle and i get crazy face into a cab with her neighbors and all is right with the world...large and in charge tries to get in the same cab. relentless

1:08am: Alex calls me and asks me to close her tab.