Roofy 1.0?

another roofy situation lies in  quiver. 

do not let people put this into 

1) your drink

2) your food

3) your office water cooler.

Friday April 10th, a Roofied Night

10:00 PM- arrive to see alex drinking out of red classic beer pong cup. as per usual, i am an hour late to said party. drinking commences. tequila shots in hand. more later on tequila + belle = disaster. stanky legg dancing begins as well as vodka gummy bear/snake intake..much like a drunk gummy zoo. lots of dancing. lots of stanky legg teaching. 

11:30 PM- I take cab with a drunk alex, i am drunk as well; however, missing an hour of drinking has set me back somewhat. i am still tipsy, like j-kwon. i arrive at the bar with alex and the group, only to find that alex is beyond intoxicated, and apparently, drinking straight whiskey (her regular drink of choice). i have vodka soda..i think, maybe vodka sprite. note: no roofie. the drink was clear, that's my thing (i spill a lot). i then go downstairs with alex, who proceeds to sit on the toilet and tells me...

"i love you, don't leave me. you're going to leave me. i'm so drunk. don't leave me. you always leave me."

alex = roofied. back at the bar we continue to drink, and there is an arrival from sam...we quickly notice a slurring and dancing alex. (note: sam is completely sober). at this point, we have both concluded that alex = roofied. big rapper-esque man who came with our group (randomly) is trying to get some alex-loving. we step in, go down to the bathroom (for the second time) to get rid of said guy. the guy barrels into bathroom, and i promptly slam the door on him yelling

"get the hell out!"

this statement was probably stated in a more PG-13 manner. we attempt to get this guy out of the bar, but to no avail.  we then proceed to go upstairs and sam & i create a barrier around alex. as i realize i, too, am drunk. however, i quickly sober up as much as possible to keep the crazy barreling man out of our way. he tries to break through our barrier. FAIL. we do a sort of "stop, in the name of love" move, and make sure he backs away. i go back to the bar to convene with sam about our plan of action...alex is still dancing around (not stanky leggin'). 

somewhere between 12:30 AM-1:00 AM: still attempting to keep guy away from alex. alex finds new guy. sam and i step in, still attempting to get this guy away. at some point i threaten to kick his ass (shots kicking in). note: i have left the bar by 1 AM. refer to sam for more updates. 

Friday April 10th, a Roofied Night

9:10 pm- not roofied. other than a few sloppy trips and falls during the stanky legg and a questionable tequila shot, we are drunk but definitely not roofied. there are vodka soaked gummy bears and some people on the porch i don't think we know. there's also a fight busting out at white castle, but i remember it, so i'm not roofied.

11:20pm- i don't think we are roofied yet. i remember the cab ride, but i'm not sure if i was wearing my jacket. we get to the bar and i throw down my card. i think we are drinking whiskey. i am slurring but still, i don't think we are roofied...yet.

estimated time of roofie-ing- 11:43pm- i do not remember anything for the next 2 hour span. i did make it home with my credit card, shoes, underwear, and nothing is broken or bleeding. i did have to call people 4 times to ask them to close my tab, but it was already closed. i came back to earth around 1:57am, when i decided to start drunk-texting, oversharing private information and embarrassing myself. i got back to my apartment safely but slept on the couch because i thought someone was in my bed. i think it was my roomate.

lesson learned: if you don't remember anything and your tab was only $43 (and you drink like us), you were roofied.

- Alex (andra) Kelly